


so i wield an iron fist (grace is just weakness)

by anandrew



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Gen, M/M, Morally Neutral Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Morally Neutral Deceit | Janus Sanders, Trapped In A Closet, claustrophobic remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26577340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anandrew/pseuds/anandrew
Summary: janus gets frustrated with remus' de-evolution into intrusive thoughts &, as usual, sucks at teaching his lessons.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	so i wield an iron fist (grace is just weakness)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lezzylittle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lezzylittle/gifts).
  * Inspired by [i'll be good (love the world like i should)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25964125) by [lezzylittle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lezzylittle/pseuds/lezzylittle). 



> don't give me "tag your unsympathetic sides" grief. i very much don't agree with reducing these characters down to those simple titles.

It was Deceit’s job to protect Thomas, more than it was Patton's but he’d reserve that opinion for another time. To summarize though, Patton had it easy. Thomas wanted to know everything Patton had to offer. Deceit’s job was much tougher, naturally. He had to rifle through the aspects of Thomas’ personality & decide, preemptively, which parts shouldn’t see the light of day. Self preservation; sure, it wasn’t _great_ having to lie to everyone about the inherent nature of your own personality, but the alternative was always much more horrifying.

The most pressing alternative currently though, was that lately they on this shadowy side of things have been coming to a realization that worried Janus greatly.

“Butts! Juicy buttholes! Oh, he’s cute, Thomas, you should kiss him!” Remus just wouldn’t shut up about it & Janus could feel Thomas’ mental eye scrutinizing the thoughts, thinking too hard about them, wondering where they came from & if, godforbid, there was an ounce of honesty to them.

“Remus, _you have to stop now,_ ” Janus tried to reason with the dark half of Creativity, but the younger teen refused. Janus grew more worried.

“Stop? Why stop? Thomas _does_ think he’s cute! So he should kiss him! Maybe he’ll get lucky & they can _fuck_ in the gym after class!”

“ _Remus,_ you have to stop,” Janus didn’t have a good, stern voice for this kind of thing. He wasn’t convincing enough, it felt like his words constantly fell on Remus’ deaf ears.

“I can’t stop, sorry, Dee, I’m just being honest with him!”

“You’re being recklessss,” Deceit hissed. A new sound, one that gave him an edge he didn’t have formerly. “This isn’t something he’s ready to know yet & you’d realize that if you used that rotten head of yourssss.”

The thoughts stopped, for now, & Thomas relaxed, dismissing them easily in their absence. But this wouldn’t be the last of Remus’ intrusions.

Janus felt bad of course, as bad as Janus could feel while doing his job, but he had succeeded & the wounded expression on Remus’ face haunting him was retribution enough.

But it wasn’t even a week later before Remus’ perverted thoughts picked up again.

“I’m sorry, Deedee!” Remus’ expression shifted to one Janus hadn’t seen before. His spare limbs loomed behind his back; Self Preservation wasn’t sure how much control he actually had over them but he wouldn’t argue if it made Remus listen finally. “I can’t help it!” The Duke was backing up, slowly & Janus was just angry enough to pursue.

“ _Sure_ you can help it,” Janus’ voice may not be harsh in the way he wanted it to be but there was a haunting enough juxtaposition between the natural sweetness of his tone & the dark cloud looming over him to send Remus into a panic. “We can _all_ help what we choose to say, what we choose to _tell_ Thomas. Even if you do not see _why_ this isn’t something he should know, you should believe me when I _say_ it is.”

Remus’ back hit the wall then & Janus stopped a foot from him. The prodding eye that was Thomas beginning to question his subconscious inclinations with his budding teenage self awareness stared & _stared & stared_ until Self Preservation felt like his skin was on fire. _Stop looking here, this place isn’t for you to see; **there’s nothing worth seeing here.**_

“But I can’t! I try, I try, I do!” Remus’ voice was shriller than usual & the way he held his hands at his chest was less flamboyant & more … defensive. Was he that intimidating? Janus raised his chin, defiant of the Duke’s promise. If intimidation was what got him to _shut up…_

“Well maybe you’ll try harder after some … _quiet reflective time._ ” Self Preservation deadpanned & suddenly bare hands with the cuticles all chewed & ripped to bloody stubs flew forward.

Remus screamed, & Janus frowned so hard he could almost hear Feelings’ voice telling him to _lighten up or else your face will stick like that, silly!_ His stomach knotted as the sound became muffled behind a closet door; it only took a couple hands to keep it shut & the knob was locked subsequently.

“D-Dee? D-Deedee?!” Janus stared at the door as Remus’ scream gave way to the anxious sound of his nickname. _Deceit,_ he had told Remus to call him lately. That’s what they called _Thomas_ whenever their host listened to him. It was … fitting. More fitting than something so _necessary_ as Self Preservation.

“Deedee, listen,” Remus’ voice shook & was accompanied by the sound of fists against the door; they didn’t bang, not yet, but Janus could tell they, too, shook. “I’ll try harder, y-you’re right, I can try harder, I’m not trying as hard as I can s-so,” _Breathe, Remus,_ he wanted to say. Instead, Janus crossed his arms. Perhaps to keep his hands to himself. “L-let me out & I-I’ll do better, I promise, okay?”

Janus wanted to believe him. He hated this, every part of this. The Denial, the lying, the keeping things from Thomas, having to watch what he said to Remus lately in case the Duke decided to just go on ahead & tell their host. He was resentful, of all of it, but mostly … of not being able to trust Remus anymore.

“D-Dee? Are you listening?! Are-are you still there?!” The panic in Remus’ voice increased with every word & then the pounding did start. Janus’ heart ached & Remus’ begging started to blend together. What could he do? If he let Remus out, there was no telling when he’d go back to betraying him. It might be that the moment Remus recovered from this, he’d start again! Janus felt powerless, utterly powerless & imagining the tears he could hear running down Remus’ cheeks did not help.

“Alright, alright,” he sighed, arms falling to reach for the knob, though he knew Remus wouldn’t be able to hear him over the sound of his own panic.

All at once Remus rushed forward like a caged animal lunging towards freedom. Despite making it clear through repetitive dismissal that Janus very much disliked physical affection, Remus immediately wrapped his arms Boa-tight around the smaller side. Janus was taken aback, stumbling for a half step on his heels before registering that Remus … was now openly sobbing into his chest.

“I thought you left me alone, I’m sorry, please don’t leave me alone, Deedee, I’m sorry, I’ll do better,” the words poured out like an unbridled torrent to match the dampness of Janus’ shirt. Shocked, he couldn’t think of what to do for several seconds besides stand there, & feel like his feet were sinking through the floor.

“Yes, well,” Janus inhaled through his teeth as Remus’ sobs dissolved into hiccups. He managed to wrap hands around the other’s forearms to gently push him back, the humid air between them feeling sticky & _dearly_ unwanted. “See that you do.” Janus, at least, manifested another arm to wipe away Remus’ tears with the softness of his gloves.

Taking care of Remus was nothing new.  
Taking care of Remus because _he_ was the one who broke him, was.


End file.
